Yesterday

Woke up this morning feeling rather excited because though it's a monday..it's a holiday!! haha I went to school for rehearsal..it was only for an hour because it was the only time slot available.

After that, I headed to marcus' place..intended to spend time with him but resulted to something not too pleasant. We weren't screaming or shouting or anything..I just wasn't happy..I haven't been happy for a long time actually. Before we got together..he made a promise to me saying that he's a simple guy with simple goals in mind and all he wishes for is to make me happy. If I 'm not happy and he doesn't do anything to make me happy..doesn't that mean he doesn't care anymore?! I don't ask for fancy bags..the lastest shoes..romantic dates by the beach and all those things..I just ask for respect, love, communication and all things that make a good healthy relationship. Whenever he talks to me..he's always so crude and fierce and I don't know..it's just not marcus anymore. What happened to the sweet gentle loving kind man I used to know?! I thought it was stress due to studies but it's his holidays..he just returned from clubbing and batam which he loved very very very much..so.. How could he not be happy..How could he be stressed?! Does that mean he really doesn't care for me anymore?? What hurts me even more is..I took the initiative to spend time with him at the comfort of his home..I could have gone home and done my own thing but no..I decided to go to his place because I know he's too lazy to get ready and go out etc etc etc. Yet he says I'm bored..there's nothing to do..I'm wasting my time during the holidays..I don't have money so how to enjoy..I should be having fun but I'm not..this sucks etc etc etc. hello!! I'm just here..why don't we cuddle on the couch and watch tv..it's not like there were horrible shows..there were good programmes on the tv for crying out loud. It doesn't require money and we can at least talk if he didn't wanna watch tv right..I mean..we couldn't possibly make out when his maid and grandma were in the house and even if we went to his room..his maid was cleaning the house and she was in his room for quite awhile!! He won't even answer my simple questions..I honestly have no clue what's going on. Jesus please help me..I don't want to lose him..I just want to talk things out..

Came home for dinner then accompanied mom to TTSH to visit Aunt Nellie as she was in critical condition. It was good that we saw her because she passed on an hour after we arrived. As much as I am upset and I will miss her..I know that she is in a better place and she gets to rest in peace instead of fighting. She fought an awesome battle..she really did..I greatly admire her for her strength and faith. I'm also glad that she had great family members by her side during her depart.

Love you and Rest in Peace Grandaunt Nellie (: